Wow. What a terrific and scary piece of writing. Thank you for sharing all that and doing it with such great insight and the "shoreline with red flags" and a lot of the images you create and I especially liked and identified with "the school of invisibility!" I was stuck in that class for a long time (and I keep getting junk mail from them to return and finish lol) --but for different reasons (emotional absence of parents/introversion). Life was/is easier when I'm invisible or as much as I can be. And even though I never saw a man hit a woman, or another man, not my father or my stepfather, nor anyone I ever knew, I had this innate understanding that I should make as little footprint as possible. I'm upset/sad how much real and imagined cruelty you had to deal with as a kid. The whole thing amounts, (here I will be trite) to the socratic mandate for the examined self. There, you step up the plate like a Worm Farm Babe Ruth. But you take it one step further. You also grapple *the cost,* of the examine, the follow-on bills that have to be paid, like processing fees. Hey y'all Julie's In the House!
I just love the idea of getting junk mail from the school of invisibility! And now I have another name I want on my tombstone: Worm Farm Babe Ruth! Btw, are you still at home or have you already left for France? I need to send a little something to you in the mail!
I read this at speed early in my morning, and "Liked" it, without making comment.
Your thanks in another thread just reminded me that I had intended to come back here and make a comment on your post, once my day slowed down.
What I wanted to say is....
The "Like" button is such an inadequate and misleading response to a piece of writing like this. I do not like that your childhood was so troubled. I do not like that you have experienced some of the violence so horribly common in your society - and indeed in my own - of which women and children are so often the victim.
Substack needs a wider range of emoji options but an emoji of any kind is inadequate here. In the end, I did hit "Like" because (so far as I understand it) "likes" will increase the probability that your post will appear in other reader's feeds, and it deserves to be read.
So - to put the "like" to one side, my actual feelings about this are sadness and a kind of nausea at the events you describe, something like awe for your courage in relating them to us so directly and calmly, and admiration for the quality of the writing itself.
Your nation's current Abuser in Chief is about to commemorate his 80th birthday with a public celebration and showcasing of physical violence, in a gladiatorial arena now being constructed in front of your White House. Things are not so crass and overt in my own nation, but violence is a common illness here and worldwide not only - but mostly - within my own gender, and not only - but oh so frequently, inflicted on anyone perceived as physically weaker. Combined with the equally common mysogyny amongst men, women feel unsafe - because indeed they are.
I don't have an answer, because there is no single answer, but society needs people like yourself who can speak with such clarity and courage and are willing to do so.
Some of us, at least, are listening, and (hopefully) doing what we can to act.
Dear Dave, I am deeply grateful for your extended comment, and the fact that you have “admiration for the quality of (my) writing” makes me want to return to my cheerleading days and jump in the air with excitement. 😁
You draw an accurate, if not horrifying, thread from my experience as a female in the 1970s to our current Abuser in Chief and those who follow him. What can any of us, globally, do in the face of such evil madness? For me, speaking the truth feels like a radical act in this age of mendacity and “alternative facts.” Having said that, for a variety of reasons I have never felt allowed” to share my story, but buddy, I’m about to turn 60, and now Mama’s gonna write what Mama wants to write! Although poetry is my true love, working in memoir has helped me find a new (or additional?) voice, one that I hope resonates with others. If I can put words to what others feel or see around them, then that is a good day’s work.
This takes guts to write. I’m thankful you’re here with your bass-ass brave self🙏🏼
Takes one to know one!
Check your DMs I messaged you our local collage institute’s website!
Wow. What a terrific and scary piece of writing. Thank you for sharing all that and doing it with such great insight and the "shoreline with red flags" and a lot of the images you create and I especially liked and identified with "the school of invisibility!" I was stuck in that class for a long time (and I keep getting junk mail from them to return and finish lol) --but for different reasons (emotional absence of parents/introversion). Life was/is easier when I'm invisible or as much as I can be. And even though I never saw a man hit a woman, or another man, not my father or my stepfather, nor anyone I ever knew, I had this innate understanding that I should make as little footprint as possible. I'm upset/sad how much real and imagined cruelty you had to deal with as a kid. The whole thing amounts, (here I will be trite) to the socratic mandate for the examined self. There, you step up the plate like a Worm Farm Babe Ruth. But you take it one step further. You also grapple *the cost,* of the examine, the follow-on bills that have to be paid, like processing fees. Hey y'all Julie's In the House!
I just love the idea of getting junk mail from the school of invisibility! And now I have another name I want on my tombstone: Worm Farm Babe Ruth! Btw, are you still at home or have you already left for France? I need to send a little something to you in the mail!
ooo I’m excited! I’m in CA — France 9/16 to 10/8.
So that means you’re going to France in September, right? Forgive my stupidity.
Yes - I’ll be here till then!
Dear Julie
I read this at speed early in my morning, and "Liked" it, without making comment.
Your thanks in another thread just reminded me that I had intended to come back here and make a comment on your post, once my day slowed down.
What I wanted to say is....
The "Like" button is such an inadequate and misleading response to a piece of writing like this. I do not like that your childhood was so troubled. I do not like that you have experienced some of the violence so horribly common in your society - and indeed in my own - of which women and children are so often the victim.
Substack needs a wider range of emoji options but an emoji of any kind is inadequate here. In the end, I did hit "Like" because (so far as I understand it) "likes" will increase the probability that your post will appear in other reader's feeds, and it deserves to be read.
So - to put the "like" to one side, my actual feelings about this are sadness and a kind of nausea at the events you describe, something like awe for your courage in relating them to us so directly and calmly, and admiration for the quality of the writing itself.
Your nation's current Abuser in Chief is about to commemorate his 80th birthday with a public celebration and showcasing of physical violence, in a gladiatorial arena now being constructed in front of your White House. Things are not so crass and overt in my own nation, but violence is a common illness here and worldwide not only - but mostly - within my own gender, and not only - but oh so frequently, inflicted on anyone perceived as physically weaker. Combined with the equally common mysogyny amongst men, women feel unsafe - because indeed they are.
I don't have an answer, because there is no single answer, but society needs people like yourself who can speak with such clarity and courage and are willing to do so.
Some of us, at least, are listening, and (hopefully) doing what we can to act.
Best Wishes - Dave
Dear Dave, I am deeply grateful for your extended comment, and the fact that you have “admiration for the quality of (my) writing” makes me want to return to my cheerleading days and jump in the air with excitement. 😁
You draw an accurate, if not horrifying, thread from my experience as a female in the 1970s to our current Abuser in Chief and those who follow him. What can any of us, globally, do in the face of such evil madness? For me, speaking the truth feels like a radical act in this age of mendacity and “alternative facts.” Having said that, for a variety of reasons I have never felt allowed” to share my story, but buddy, I’m about to turn 60, and now Mama’s gonna write what Mama wants to write! Although poetry is my true love, working in memoir has helped me find a new (or additional?) voice, one that I hope resonates with others. If I can put words to what others feel or see around them, then that is a good day’s work.
With gratitude and mutual admiration,
Julie
Amen to all David said. (Thanks for leading me here, David)
Thank you!🙏
this took my breath away. and not in the good sense. Powerful memories and writing.
Thank you, Melissa. I am always grateful to you for reading!
🙏❤️🥹